Phillip walked out of McDonald’s 12 pounds heavier. He felt extremely proud of himself knowing that he could live the rest of his life without any problems. Phillip was a retired cashier who had worked at Pick ‘n Save. After winning the lottery, he bought a mansion on a lake, and was living the good life. Two years later, he retired at age 32. Since then, he has been nearly assassinated 6 times, lost his house, everything he owns, and was forced to live in a cardboard box outside of the local McDonald’s. Phillip is now 37. He thinks that things can’t get any worse, but he is very wrong.
It all started to go miserably wrong about 5 minutes after he walked out of the McDonald’s. Phillip noticed that the assassin who had tried to kill him twice before was standing next to his cardboard box with a bazooka at his hip. He quickly crossed to the other side of the street hoping he would not notice him. Phillips instincts told him that he had been spotted, so he dove onto the cement as he felt something sail over his head. Just as he tried to get up, a car ran over his arm. He cried out in excruciating pain and stumbled to his feet. Barely able to see he sprinted as fast as he could across the street. He didn’t make it. An SUV rammed him from behind into his back and he flew 50 feet. Phillip hit the ground with a smash and passed out cold.
When Phillip awoke he was in a dark room. He still could not see very well, and when he tried to move he screamed as loud as he ever had before. His arm was so badly broken that it looked like a paralyzed snake. The only good news was that he only had bad bruises on his back, so it was not broken. Phillip was realizing all this when a door opened somewhere behind him, and light flooded into the room. He was tied down standing up to a partially tipped over table that was nailed to the ground. He was also in the middle of a circular room with no decoration whatsoever. A man walked up to him, and with a surge of panic Phillip noticed that it was the assassin. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and for an instant he thought he was going to be shot dead right there. Instead the man pulled out a cheeseburger fresh from McDonald’s. He grabbed it with his teeth and began to chew. The man left. Phillip finished off the burger and passed out again from fear. The man had come back with a gun.
After passing out Phillip woke up almost instantly. The man raised the gun and was pointing it directly at his head. On instinct he ducked, and the bullet slammed into the rope that was holding him down. It fell down to the floor, and he could now run away. He heard the man curse multiple times. There had only been one bullet in the gun. Phillip ignored the still aching pain in his left arm and sprinted out the door straight into a pack of Rottweiler’s. Instead of stopping in terror, he sprinted up to the fence surrounding the dogs and climbed over. He got up again and ran all the way back to his cardboard box. Phillip was uncertain if the assassins would come back, so he picked up his small pile of belongings and ran towards the Pick ‘n Save he used to work at. Finding a comfortable spot behind the store, he dropped down the box and looked around for the assassins. They were nowhere to be seen. The pain in his arm was gone, but once the adrenalin wore off he would be hurting for a while. After realizing what he had gone through that day, he walked back where he had come from to the McDonald’s. He walked inside and ordered a cheeseburger. After taking a few bites, he suddenly flopped onto the floor and lay still.
Phillip had weighed almost 400 pounds. All the sprinting around had made his heart slow down until it finally stopped. Phillip had avoided being assassinated twice in a day. He had been hit by a car, and had gotten his arm run over. He had survived a pack of bloodthirsty dogs only to die eating his favorite food in the world at his favorite restaurant in the world. This was the way his life had gone in the last few years, and this was how it ended.
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